A long time ago, I was pretty skinny. Looking at pictures from way back when, I cannot understand why I was so worried about my weight. No, I know why I was so worried but I wish I knew then what I know now. There are some people who love to find and point out flaws, even when those flaws aren’t there. It’s worse when those people don’t even know they’re doing it and really do have the best of intentions. Worse yet when you start doing it yourself even when they aren’t around. It’s just a shame that it happens.
Magazines and movies don’t help. Little old ladies who remark on it don’t help. My own youngest child who asks why I still look a little pregnant if I can’t have any more kids doesn’t help at all. But, I’m done being cruel to myself. I can’t control what other people see or say but I can control how it effects me.
I have two children. I gained an obscene amount of weight during each pregnancy and have struggled mightily getting it all back off. There are people in my life who poke at me about that weight. It’s a whopping 60 pounds. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not so bad. I’m not thrilled with it but I am no longer going to worry so much about it either. I’m embracing my pudge. I’m going to wear what I want to wear and not care what certain other people think.
I admit, there’s a small part of me that hopes by accepting the pudge maybe it won’t hold on to my middle quite so tightly. I know I could work out like crazy and get it off eventually. I know I could limit my calories and eat like a rabbit and the weight would eventually go away. But I really hate exercise and I really love food. All food. But especially rich, buttery foods and sweet foods.
This isn’t to say a little exercise won’t be done but I’m not spending an hour every day working toward a goal that seems unattainable anyway. And if I want one of the croissants currently sitting on top of the fridge with a little bit of marmelade, I’m going to eat it and enjoy it and not feel guilty in the slightest.
Whether it’s fall insulation, winter fat, spring rolls or summer… I can’t think of a good one for summer. Anyway, whatever it is, I’m embracing it. One of these days maybe a cute little Adipose will separate itself and go about its merry way but until then, I’m just going to be happy with who and what I am. Period.