Monthly Archives: October 2015

Happy Halloween!

I love Halloween – it is one of my all time favorite days of every year. Today, I have a present for you that is based on a nightmare I had when I was pregnant with my youngest son. It originally appeared in Aoiffe’s Kiss several years ago – in 2008.


Image: Morgue File

Image: Morgue File

The Crow Queen
By Sarah Wagner
She is perched on the middle oak of three,
the one with the view into my window,
holding court amidst the crows,
her reptilian eyes boring into me from afar.

The sickly green of her featherless skin,
dull in the dim light of early dusk,
taut membrane wings stretch to threaten flight.
The cackling murder with their demon leader
plotting something wicked – I can tell.

The Crow Queen cocks her head to focus
that amber-gold eye the size of my fist
on me – on my swelling belly –
pinning me to the wall.
there is madness there, malevolence.

What brings her to my home
to stare at me through windows,
laugh at me through walls,
mock me as I hide behind sheer curtains.

I live in fear of her deadly claws,
her sharp beak ripping open the roof,
skinning me to reach the innocent.

What offering will she have to fly away
never to darken my window again?

There will be no battle between us
no weapon have I sufficient for the task
no demon hunter at my disposal.

I lay a circle of salt
melt down my silver for .22 shells
learn to believe in every God
draw down the moon and genuflect.

Tin can scarecrows to rid the trees
of Her jesters, knights, and maidens.
Bless the oaks with holy water
chant the rites of exorcism.

And suddenly she is gone.

Her absence, her silence
is as weighty as her presence.
Suspicion leaving me panicked,
searching for clues, rhyme and reason
but it is a nest I find cast to the ground
lined with broken shells of the same
sallow green color as the Queen.

I bend to inspect the shattered calcium plating,
so fresh there is still fluid clinging
to the paperwhite innershell,
and the first pangs or labor strike deep and low.


Happy Halloween!


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Filed under Poetry, Writing

Welp, this month has been interesting

Not fun, not good, but certainly not boring. I think I would enjoy a boring month.

The last few days I haven’t been around much at all. I did manage to do my Face Off recap today over at The Geek Girl Project but that is the extent of my productivity. I’ll likely manage a load of dishes and the cooking of dinner mostly because I have people who need to eat and a few things need washing in order for that to happen properly.

My dad is in the hospital. We aren’t sure what happened but he does seem to be on the mend, at least, if you compare today to yesterday. Yesterday, he couldn’t even open his eyes, only nod or shake his head. Today, he can talk, he knows who he is, who I am, when and where he is and all the pertinent information so that’s good. He’s not acting like himself which is less good and trying to pull all the monitors and the picc line out which is downright bad. It’s exhausting but I’m sure it’s even more so for my awesome stepmom. I get a break when I come home to deal with my kids and school work and sleep. She gets a break for the short time I can be there during the school day.

Hopefully tomorrow is another step in the right direction. Also, I’m hoping for a nice, quiet, uneventful November.


Filed under Health, Life

No Bra Day

If I wore no bra out in public, three things would happen: 1 – I would feel incredibly self-conscious, 2 – I would feel incredibly uncomfortable, 3 – everyone would KNOW. Do you know what wouldn’t happen? Not one single person would think a damn thing about cancer of any kind.

I don’t do the whole wear pink thing because I really don’t like pink and the money doesn’t go where you think it does (Charity Navigator – Komen). Breast cancer is a terrible thing but we shouldn’t be sexualizing cancer. We should be focused on saving the people afflicted, not the parts of them that are. Who cares about the breasts if the women are dying? It isn’t the only cancer in the world. It’s not even the most devastating cancer – that would be lung cancer.

This month is hard for me especially because every single thing I hear is about breast cancer. It isn’t the only cancer that kills people. Yes go get your mamograms and do monthly self-checks. It matters, it’s important. Donate to organizations that are funding research or services for people with cancer. Remember that it isn’t just women who get breast cancer. Go to your dermatologist to get your spots checked. Go to your regular physician to check the rest of you. Cancer sucks but I’m so damned tired of the only cancer we talk about being breast cancer.

This year is worse than most, being a big anniversary year – 20 sounds so big but it doesn’t feel like it. I find myself a little more weepy than usual about the dumbest stuff. This year, I find myself getting angry at the pink because everyone cares about breast cancer and no one gives a dime to most other cancers. There isn’t a standard ribbon for malignant melanoma. There’s no awareness project, quilt, or 5k. What about lung cancer, prostrate cancer, colon cancer? This year I wish they’d chosen a different month of the year for their awareness and education crap. Any other month.



Filed under Health, Life

Distractions are good for me

Distraction can be both the enemy and the impetus of brilliance.

If I’m stuck on something, trying to figure out how to get past a problem, the best thing I can do is go kill stuff on Diablo or Killer Instinct or try and beat my current stupid level on Candy Crush. In the end, I’ll either level up or figure it out – win/win.

Right now, I’m in the middle of making notes on the developmental edits  for Eldercynne Rising. I have no doubt that I can make it work but I am really looking forward to seeing precisely how I’m going to do that. Right now, I’m out of lives on Candy Crush and my oldest boy is currently playing Diablo III so both of those are out and I guess I’m going to have to do housework or something while I brain storm. More productive maybe but much less fun.

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Filed under Writing