Tag Archives: life

So far, So Good

So far today, I’m having a pretty good day, physically. Which is really nice and a bit of an outlier event over the last month and a bit. I’m certainly not going to complain and hopefully take advantage of it! It looks like today might be a real writing day!

This past weekend I did another local event and it went pretty well, even if I did move like a geriatric snail. I may even have to get more books in before my October and November events. You can’t really ask for better than that. I’ve been quite surprised by how much fun I’ve had doing them – I’m sure it helps that my oldest child has been super helpful being my minion for these festivals and fairs. It won’t be too much longer before he’ll be off on his own adventures so I think I’ll enjoy his help while I can.

Next year maybe I’ll be in a place where I can do some bigger events that aren’t maybe as local but certainly might be a little more targeted to readers. That’s the goal anyway. Now I’m going to go write while all the joints are feeling loose and limber enough to type properly.

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Filed under Event, Life

Updates All Around

Set up at the Italian Festival!

I had another craft fair this past weekend and I sold a few more books which is always nice and met some very interesting people. I have to admit, I am enjoying the craft fairs more than I thought I would, even with all the other issues I’ve got going on right now. Which are much more plentiful than I’d like, for sure.

I have another craft fair coming up on August 12th also and that should be both busy and fun. I honestly never thought I’d be looking forward to events like this – it’s been a very long time since I was comfortable peopling this much so I guess I’m getting somewhere after all these years. I’m not ready for Steel City or Parsec just yet but maybe soon! (ish)

Fabric sculpture Ragamuffin is up at Nesting Dragon.

I put up a bunch of new stuff over at Nesting Dragon – I’m really enjoying the fabric sculptures. I think the Nazgul and Shadow are my favorites (Shadow is all mine and not for sale lol) but I’m branching out a bit and I’ve got some ideas… Hopefully, I’ll manage to get one done before the Peach Festival and see how it plays.

On the health front, this month has been one long round of why do I hurt. It started with the left knee, when through the feet (with cellulitis of all things), through the ankles, the other knee, and then the wrists and hands. I’ve had x-rays, blood work,  more ibuprofen than I’ve taken in my entire life leading up to this (maybe an exaggeration…), and a whole lot of questions. The only thing I know for sure is that I have some arthritis in one knee, stupid tiny veins, and a predilection for bruising. I had yet another appointment today with the orthopedic guy and I walked out with some probably nots, a script for more bloodwork, and a referral for yet another guy. It’s really a frustrating process and I’m not actually getting solid answers, just suggestions. But we think fibromyalgia is ruled out at least so that’s something. Now I have to visit a rheumatologist and we’ll play another round of a million questions. Honestly, rheumatoid arthritis would make sense with everything but I’m not calling it until a doctor does. As of now, it’s just one possible answer. The words don’t matter so much as having a plan of attack. That’s what’s bothering me the most – not having a solid plan of attack beyond try to weigh less. In the mean time, I’m just muddling through and playing with speech to text software because typing a lot hurts (I’ve split this post into three sittings as it is).

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Filed under Books, Crafting, etsy, Event, Health, Life

Upcoming events and other things

I’ve got four events coming up, three local in person things where I’ll have my books and some of the things I make and one online Facebook party sort of thing where I’ll be giving away a book and maybe something special. The more I do these real world sort of events, the better I get at them. I’m not quite ready for the big events yet but I’m getting there. One of these days I shall get myself to Parsec and Steel City. Then I’ll think about the not so local – when my youngest is a little older also.

In July, I’ll be at the Follansbee Den on the 6th for lady’s night from 7-9pm and participating in a Facebook party on the 19th. My slot is scheduled for 6:30pm and I’ll have presents for some lucky individual. I’ll have more information on both of them as we get a little closer.

I haven’t been writing as much as I want because I’ve done something to my right arm and it hurts and by the time I’m done doing my “day” job, typing my own stuff doesn’t work so well. It’s slowly getting better and I probably just pulled something but it’s seriously annoying when I have things I want to get finished!

Gods of the Fallen is coming along really well. I’ve basically got my outline draft done – it’s certainly not readable. It’s basically a very loose sketch of how the story is going to work. There’s a lot that the draft is missing of course but this is the closest I’ll ever get to doing an outline of any kind. I don’t count this as an outline because it’s a series of the important scenes that I have to tie together and smooth out. It does give me a path of sorts to follow but I’ll veer off it likely as not in the rewrites.

Getting ready for the local events, I’m making more stuff that might fit a little better in the place where I live – less artsy and more functional but not a bit boring. It’s a little more difficult to work in the summer with all the kids wanting to go places, do things, see people. I should have worked harder to raise hermits (not really, it’s good that they don’t want to be like their mother in that regard).

Yesterday was a little rough. It was the first father’s day without him. It just sort of felt like a wrong thing for me. But, it is what it is and I’ve just got to get used to it.

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Filed under Convention, Crafting, WIP, Writing

Trying to get back to things

I’m finding it very difficult to get back into my routine, into the swing of things. For the last several years, it was not unusual to get a text or three during the week to see how many words I’ve written, what projects I was working on. As much as it might have been a little frustrating because when I’m rolling, I’m rolling pretty quick. I appreciated the fact that he was interested.

He was pretty much my only cheerleader. I have other supportive people but most of them don’t read and especially don’t read the genres I write. He didn’t read fiction much until he started being my first reader. He is, was, the only person who has read all of my books, all of my stories.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to do now. He was my sounding board and my fact checker. I have all of these suddenly open positions and no applicants to fill them. Nor would I really want to right now, they wouldn’t stick a random “d” in the word genre or lecture me on the proper naming genders in Russian families or ramble about whatever crazy random bit of information that is absolutely integral to whatever story I’m editing.

I’m not very good at this grieving thing. I get all the steps mixed up and somehow there seem to be more of them in my stairway. Funnily enough, acceptance seems pretty low on the climb, just after blank and before irrational what-ifs. I know everyone is different but I’m a wallower. Not really in my grief, because the actual grief part is mostly done-ish, but in my memories. Certain things become so intrinsically tied to a person that you can’t do them, go there, see that without thinking of them.

I’m trying to get myself put back together and there will be brighter, shinier, happier things here soon and eventually there will be new words. I don’t quite know what to do with them now but I’ll figure it out. I was writing before he took an active interest (before I started taking it seriously) and I’ll write again soon – other than poetry which is just coming to me faster, muddier, and sloppier than usual. I’m just going to have to restructure my rituals now.

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Sometimes People Suck

I wish I had not gone on Facebook instead of adding a few more words to Crow Queen. I wish I hadn’t been struck by my own stupid curiosity to see what made one of the writers I admire and respect so totally pissed off. Alas, I did. Now I’m going to share my pissed off, Jim Hines‘s pissed off, and some outside observer’s absolute idiocy. Because this woman who wrote this thing has NO CLUE about what she writes.

Actually, Hines sums it up better than I can. Read his response to a terrible woman who has no clue here. (and this way, I don’t have to link to the actual article! Bonus for me!)

I just want to add that I have children, one of whom is officially autistic and currently struggling to define what that is for himself. He comes home from school and tells me that autism isn’t an illness which tells me that someone at school is telling him that it is. He is working on finding stims that don’t scare the new puppy or make other kids stare. He is learning to speak and act neurotypical because he wants to. I’m of two minds on that – on one hand, he is awesome but on the other, like speaking French in Paris, speaking NT certainly will help him in life.

My situation is not terrible, in fact, my life is pretty freaking awesome. My kids are a large part of why that is. We learn to work around things, find different ways to get to the same place, and help my son navigate a world with people like this horrible woman in it. Maybe sometimes we have to take the longer or rockier path but who doesn’t sometimes?

I have been told, more than once, that my kid isn’t autistic enough for me to understand what other people go through. They’re sort of right, I guess. His autism presents in a manner that I can understand and even translate. I know how lucky we are for that. I also know that Carly Fleischmann found her own way. Naoki Higashida found his own way. Others find their own ways of communicating all the time. Different is not less. I think some people need to fall down off their very high rocking horse (because it isn’t a real horse when you aren’t actually personally involved in the situation).

Now I’m going to get back to the words I need to write today.

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Filed under Autism, Life, Parenting

Progress

This is a non-writing related post for the most part. It does relate to writing in that I’m not getting as much done right now as I’d like but that will change with school coming back and my working to get this new routine down. I’ve blogged before over the years about my issues with my weight and, while I am trying to just be happy with my shape and myself, I am also trying really hard to get into a shape that isn’t this one.

I’m not looking for advice, just sharing my progress because I want to brag a little. I’m really happy with the progress I’ve made just using the myfitnesspal app and the Pokemon Go app. For me, being accountable for the calories (and getting on the stationary bike or going for a walk when I want to have cake not cutting out cake), is working incredibly well. As long as my final number is green I’m a happy girl. I know I’ll hit a plateau eventually but I’m trying to get this done before I hit the age where it becomes super difficult to take any weight off. When I went to my doctor, I was looking at a very daunting 80 pounds to lose.

I started 87 days ago (I know only because the app keeps track of this stuff for me) and, if my scale didn’t lie to me today, I’m down 26 pounds so far. It doesn’t hurt that we’re walking a mile and half every day (73km so far!) and that I’ve traded my regular chair for a stability ball but the biggest difference is just that I’m being smarter about my food choices – I don’t feel hungry or deprived at all. This is important as it keeps me going instead of frying myself up some beignets. The best part is that I’m not doing anything unusual – honestly, with the Pokemon Go app, I’m not doing anything I wouldn’t be doing anyway — gotta hatch those eggs, after all.

I’m not noticing any differences, nothing seems like it’s fitting differently or anything yet. But, if I keep going at the rate I’m going right now, I’ll be at my personal goal sometime in March (allowing some off time around christmas because I am an excellent baker). We’ll see. There will be no before pictures but I am looking forward to updating my author pic at some point.

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Aging

I have no problem at all with my aging – in fact, I look forward to most of it – but I struggle a great deal with my kids getting older. In a few short hours, my baby will hit the double digits. I no longer have an elementary school aged child! My older child is learning to drive and my baby is headed for middle school. So why on earth do I not have gray hair yet?!? I have a few, yes, but not enough to do anything fun with!

Time is weird and I don’t like it. Time needs to slow down before I get whiplash! It doesn’t feel like that long ago that my baby came into this world, all 10 pounds 6 of him and now he’s about to be 10. If you listened to him though, you’d think he was about to be 30. He has his whole life plotted out – I really hope he meets a girl who agrees to go along with it – two kids, a farm (in the middle of a city), and a pretty wife. Apparently, they’re all going to stay with my husband and I while he builds their house. He never fails to amuse me.

I love my kids but I am increasingly ready for school to be back in session. I know my teacher friends aren’t quite there yet but my boys do so much better with each other when they aren’t together all the time. That is the one downside of having such a big age gap.

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Filed under kids, Life, Parenting

Another Day, Another Idol

Over the last year it feels like every time I turn around, another incredible talent has died. Prince was an amazing artist, that cannot be disputed. Purple Rain was the first r-rated movie I ever saw (and boy did I get in trouble for it!) at an older neighborhood girl’s birthday party. The music he wrote spoke to me, like he was talking to me. In a way he was, in the broader scope. The path we all take is pretty similar, we don’t all experience the same path and for some, the way is rockier or cleared or full of venomous snakes, depending, but we all have the same ground beneath our feet, sky above our heads, and some bigger things are universal. His work was eclectic and moody and I’m pretty sure everyone can find at least one Prince song that speaks to them.

I want to wrap up all of my remaining idols (and yes, there are still some left) in bubble wrap and put them in quarantine before this year comes for them too. Now, I’m going to go have a good cry so I can be mostly normal by the time the kids get home. Youngest hates when I cry and Oldest teases me.

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Filed under Life, Memories

It’s That Time of Year Again

April is again upon us. I imagine most people come into April looking forward to Spring, flowers, and beautiful weather. I love April (my birthday arrives, Steel City Con runs their April show, it’s beautiful out but the kids are still in school so I can get work done). I am less fond of having to explain why I will never support Autism Speaks over and over again.

If you’re new to me, to this blog, you might not know that my younger son is autistic. It is my hot-button issue. I don’t talk religion or politics in polite company or online. I don’t touch on much of anything controversial on this blog because it isn’t worth the aggravation for me to do so. Autism is too important to me and my family so this one and all the things that go with it I talk about, rant about, and maybe get a little bit het up about.

My son has his difficulties and his stims and sometimes his constant recitations of current internet memes get to be a bit much for me but he is awesome. I wouldn’t change him for anything. He can tell me the best route to take to get almost anywhere. He can tell you where various routes begin, end, and intersect each other. He can answer nearly any question you might have about Saturday Night Live (did you know that Steve Martin was not actually a cast member?). What does it matter if he won’t eat bread or his hands wiggle or he rocks?

There are so many good autism groups out there that I do not understand how anyone can support an organization that is a thinly disguised hate group. They are the only foundation I know that discounts, ignores, and dehumanizes the disenfranchised people they say they were founded to serve. Autism Speaks raises money not to help autistic people but to fund their swanky offices and lobby politicians and make horrible “documentaries” where caregivers talk about the urge to harm these kids with the kids in the damn room. People are going to have thoughts and feelings but for the love of everything, keep it away from kids!

This month, if you want to donate money to any Autism group – look them up, find someone local, or really look at the options out there. Please don’t give blindly to just anyone.

I have a lot of words to say about autism and I’ll probably be doing it a lot over the course of April as this is the month when schools do their fancy presentations and every other store is shilling for Autism Speaks and irking me something fierce in doing so.

I am trying to be the best advocate I can be for my son until such time as he can advocate for himself. I am trying to protect him from the harmful rhetoric out there that is telling him that he is broken, damaged, and less than the rest. I need for him to know that all that is bullshit. He is awesome and he absolutely gets to ignore anyone who tries to tell him otherwise.

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Filed under Autism

Clutz Moment of the Year

I am not a graceful person. Anyone who knows me knows that I can trip over anything, including nothing. I am currently in a foam padded shoe and using crutches as I bruised a bone in my foot. How did I manage that you ask? I ran over my foot with a fairly empty shopping cart while out with my grandmother.

It could be so much worse but seriously that has to be the dumbest way I’ve hurt myself yet. Recovery time will be much less time than a break would have been but that’s still me sitting around with my foot up. Hoping to manage to get some words in over the next week or two.

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Filed under Life