Category Archives: Health

Doing it Anyway

This last year has really been all about learning to do things anyway – even when I’m sad, anxious, or hurting. Writing even though I’m not as fast anymore and get distracted easily. Doing the errands even if various joints are being stupid. I admit, I’m getting pretty damn jealous of all the people who can just walk all the places and not wind up with yet another swollen hurty bit. I understand some of my friends with various chronic diseases a lot better now and I am bowing to their example and expertise a lot. One particular lady is everything I want to grow up to be – I’ll always be a huge fan of hers – she especially rocks the art of doing it anyway.

It is a really hard adjustment to do it anyway. I’m getting there with the writing, even if this post is pretty much the only writing I’ll do today. It’s harder with the other stuff. Right now, I’ve got my feet up with an ice pack on my ankle hoping for some relief and I’m not really finding it. If anything, it’s sort of making it even more uncomfortable. Today was also leech day – where I go get all my blood let for science (and to make sure all my levels are good *fingers crossed my sed rate is finally going down*) and I forgot to take the bandage off – something about their bandages and my skin do not get along. I have a red splotchy place everywhere the adhesive touched my skin. But, I was hydrated enough to make the stick easy and it doesn’t look like I’m even going to bruise this month which is super yay. I never thought I would ever get used to being stuck in the arm every month without even a pretty picture to show for it but, there you go.

Honestly, I’ve done really well keeping the writing going. I’m at very nearly 17k words for the month and I’m super proud of myself. I’ll be even more proud if somehow I can beat my February totals. This past week was my busiest week with life stuff though so hopefully, next week I’ll do a lot more getting stuff done. After the first part of the week anyway. I have a very important lunch date with an old friend I haven’t seen in a really really long time. Pretty sure since before I had kids. I’m very much looking forward to playing catch up.


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Filed under Life, Rheumatoid Arthritis

February Wrap Up & March Goals

Well, February was my best month since the last time I won a NaNoWriMo. I am a bit of a spreadsheet geek – facts and figures make me so happy.

The figures!

35,221 total words written for February (47,806 for the year)

How does that break down you ask? 9201 words on Gods of the Fallen, 19552 on Hunter’s Hell, 4011 on this blog, 1694 for the Geek Girl Project, and 44 words worth of poetry (or one rough poem). I don’t do a count of any of my handwritten stuff – notes, snippets, my personal diary and such because that would be a pain in the butt to do.

I missed three days out of the month and that’s it. That’s so freaking awesome. I’m really quite proud of myself today, at least on the writing front.

The health front faired less well … stupid yummy food, stupid boring exercise … I actually gained two pounds. However, given how much junk I probably really ate, that’s not so bad. I bought some new resistance bands to help with some of that and I’m trying really hard to stick with the calorie counter app. For me, it’s really more about the calories – if I can keep that under control, I’m good. Doing actual exercise is just a thing I do so I can eat what I want.

I am tolerating the increase in methotrexate pretty well – changing the time of day has made a world of difference. Now I get to sleep through pretty much all of the tired and icky feelings. I’m not pain-free but I’m certainly at mostly tolerable levels and actually able to type. I’m not up to normal speeds but I am thinking that I have to consider this a new normal. I think my days of 80-90 wpm are probably over.

On to March Goals!

On the writing front, I’d like the total count to be higher than February’s and not just because of the missing days. I don’t mind having to not write for a day or three – I might have things that need doing, might be too tired or drained or whatever. I do want to aim for that 50k word count. Realistically, that should be my average at a minimum. That’s only 1650 words per day on average. I might have some days that are only 300 words and days that are close to 4000 words. I really should be able to do 1650 words per day on average. And I really should add a per day average number to my spreadsheet!

On the health front – my biggest goal right now is to be able to get up off the floor without help. Which means I’ll be able to do more proper yoga again I suppose if I can get the dog to leave me be for a minute. Yes, I would like to lose weight. Really, I need to lose a lot of it – 75-80 is my goal (the doctor would be super thrilled with 50 though). So monthly, maybe 5 pounds lost would be really wonderful but the ability to stand up without help is what I’m after.

I got nothing made last month and I would really like to get something neat made this month. So, I want to make at least 5 things in March. I don’t care what they are but 5 somethings. (And find at least one festival I can manage to do for this summer).

I had a lot of progress in February and I just want to keep moving forward as best I can so March is even better.


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Filed under Crafting, Health, WIP, Writing

Skin and Scales

For the last several months, since I started medication, I’ve complained about my skin. Some of it cleared up when I finally got off the prednisone but I’m having a resurgence of acne and not all the red splotchiness is going away. I’ve ordered samples, bought samples, searched the internets, and slathered my skin in all manner of craziness. I’ve learned a few things – some of the most expensive skin stuff smells like skunk cabbage and rotten carrots had a baby, sheet masks are weird as all get out, and bubble masks really feel neat. And nothing works for me. Rather, nothing did.

That’s not to say I didn’t find things I liked – I really do love the Glamglow cleanser (it smells like licorice!) and the crazy bubble cloud mask things. Micellar Water is the greatest makeup remover ever (but I can’t leave it on my skin like some people). And Garnier’s is just as nice as some of the pricier ones. And mostly I’ve learned just how expensive skincare and makeup can be. Oh my goodness, it can be ridiculous! Some of it though is absolutely worth it and I would be so dangerous if I had real money. Fortunately, there are places like Marshalls where I can find something new to try while not spending a ton just to discover yet another thing I shouldn’t put on my face.

Believe it or not, the only thing I’ve found that works is a regular drugstore brand. Actually, I shouldn’t be too surprised as this particular brand was my astringent go to a billion years ago. I’m a couple of days in, using the system – cleanser once, spot treatment and lotion twice – and the difference is huge. The blemishes have diminished, the redness is nearly gone – even on my cheekbones! Clean and Clear’s Advantage is super affordable, especially compared to the systems I’ve looked at trying to find something.

Ikea Bento

Now for the scales part! My oldest kid is super earth conscious and really trying to live as close to zero waste as he can (though complete zero waste is really impossible in this day and age. In trying to find ways to minimize his footprint, he was looking at bento boxes. Rather than wait for shipping, we went out and picked up Ikea’s version of a bento and got to work trying to figure out what we were going to put in them. Apart from zero waste, I’m hopping on the bandwagon is hopes of a smaller waist. If I try really hard to stick to the portions, to drink all my scheduled water, and, you know, actually move, it should all work to get that stupid number going the right direction just a little faster and continue to do so until the Wii Fit board stops reminding me just how horribly fat I am in a far too perky voice.

Today’s lunch is probably the only one I’ll blog about (unless I make something insanely pretty) because it’s the first one.

Today’s lunch: Green tea noodle ginger chicken salad made by my oldest kid, pork steamer buns (that I need to learn how to make), green peppers, sugarsnap peas, grapes, cheese. So yummy.

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So Far, So Good

I’ve been really good at keeping up this word counting and I’ve only missed one day this month writing and that was a holiday. I’m going to have missed days sometimes. Apparently, I’m having my November now. I’m more than on track to hit 50k this month and I’m really pleased about that.

Yesterday was a day full of going and walking and I paid for it last night. I’m glad we went but I feel bad as I move at about the pace of a snail and the poor dear husband moves more like a gazelle and so do my very tall kids. By the end of the day, I felt about like I felt one the day my very first flare started and we began the process of trying to find out what is wrong with me.

I still managed to get words in on Hunter’s Hell though, a little better than 800 of them. I really do love where this story is going. I feel a little guilty doing some of the horrible things to my characters that I do but they also need to happen in order for my lovelies to grow. That’s always my biggest complaint when I read a series – the characters don’t grow or they lean on one particular crutch too much. That doesn’t mean I don’t love the stories or those writers, just that it’s a thing that I note and remind myself to try to avoid.

I adore JD Robb’s in Death series – love em all. BUT, I do think Eve’s constant misunderstanding of common idioms is ridiculous at this point and she’s going to run out of them. In the latest, it wasn’t so much the idioms that bothered me but the botchery of Hitchcock’s name. Sure, not everyone is a movie buff but this isn’t the first in Death book where Hitchcock is mentioned. So it irks me. It irks me just a little as it’s one irksome thing in an otherwise fun book. They are fun, fast reads even with the occasional bout of come on that get under my skin. The most recent installment is fun, not particularly groundbreaking as the basic idea has been done before many times, but it’s a solid outing with Eve and Roarke. Really though that’s the best part of stories – I can read the same story by eight different writers and they’re all different and amazing in their own way.

I’m hoping to get more words in today but if I don’t, I’m not terribly concerned. At least the kids are old enough to, more or less, let me work and not stop me every three minutes to get them this or that or keep them occupied. They’re pretty good now at keeping themselves occupied.

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Filed under Books, Rheumatoid Arthritis, WIP, Writing

Processes and Projects

I’m routinely getting words on books and this makes me happy in ways I can’t explain. It’s been a long time – longer than I would like to admit – since I was writing with any real regularity. I tried to get back into the swing of things with two separate NaNoWrimos and it sort of almost worked. For a month or so. I’m coming up on a month of tracking my word counts for no one but myself and I’m actually doing quite well. I’ve got my spreadsheet with all its pretty formulas to help me measure down to the word – by project, by day, by week, by month. I love statistics. We’ll see if I’m still doing it in six months… If it gets these two books that are my current priority, I’ll be happy. I would really like it to stick around though – I have so many stories to tell!

Coming up, I’m going to be doing something a bit different. At least on Wednesdays. The other day I had a long discussion with another writer about my own process because she asked and I know I’m a bit of an odd duck in that I’m not an outliner. In any case, I’m going to start running a process spotlight on some Wednesdays I think.

My foot is very unhappy today. And my elbows. The elbows are a little less troublesome but I had to take the cane to get my youngest kid off the bus, as my one foot just feels broken. It isn’t, not even a little and there is no reason for it to feel like all the little bones in my foot are grinding to dust but, hey, yay RA. *sigh* Hopefully tomorrow will be better on that front.

I’ve taken a long enough break and I should get back to writing. I’ve broken the 2500 word mark, I’d like to hit 3k today if I can so I should get back to it.

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Filed under Rheumatoid Arthritis, Writing

Lost Days

Yesterday was mostly one. Not entirely, I did get a few hundred words on my non-priority project but I don’t remember doing a whole lot otherwise. Some dishes, a trip to the grocery, and a lot of sleeping. On the upside, today I don’t feel as congested or achy as I did yesterday. I’m thinking the barometer did some moving yesterday in preparation for today’s weather shift. So far, it really seems like my joints are fine in the cold (as long as I take my meds), only my bad knee gets mad when it’s raining, but pressure changes are terrible. I guess this is just another one of those things I’m going to have to get used to. It’s not like I didn’t have lost days before it’s just different now somehow. It feels like it’s harder to make up the losses than it used to be. Of course, it kind of is.

Before, a lost day was nothing to worry about and likely not really lost but spent doing house stuff or reading a book or doing something with the kids. Now, it’s a freaking event if we do a trip to the strip district for coffee, olive oil, and fresh tortillas (and a bunch of other stuff we probably don’t need but thoroughly enjoy) and I know I’ll pay for it the next day. I’m looking at the schedule for craft fairs for this summer and I’m debating a bit on how many I want to do or will be able to do. I was never very normal but I do very much miss being healthy. I miss when I could make up a day pretty quickly because my “day” really only took an hour or two of hard focused work.

I’ve actually managed to write every day this month so far – but it’s early days yet and we’ll see if I can keep it up. I’m going to try though – at least 300 words but better if it’s more than that. I have too many things I want to write, too many stories to tell, and I just feel like I need to get them to paper (or file) sooner.

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Filed under Rheumatoid Arthritis, Writing

Most of this week rocked

I got a lot done, I’m a bit concerned that my word counts are artificially high but they aren’t really – the way I do rewrites from the zero-draft, I’m actually writing every word over again. Maybe it doesn’t seem like I’m adding a whole lot just yet but I’m also cutting out the words that don’t work so I’m going to keep counting that way – two separate files side by side, no cut and paste, I get to keep the official words. It just feels easier because I have these bones already.

Today did not rock. The day I took my meds (weds) was fine. Thursday I zonked out quite a bit – certainly more than I expected to. Yesterday I was hurting so much more – especially in the feet. Today, today was just awful. I haven’t felt this sick since starting this whole process. Headache, nausea, exhaustion. If I’d shone any other illness signs or anyone else in the house felt awful, I might think it was a touch of something but everyone else is fine so it might be the meds – I guess I’ll know next week. I’m feeling a smidge better this evening than I was this morning for sure but I’m still not quite right.

This post is the grand total for my words today but I had a great week for words otherwise so I’m good with that. The X-Files is back again and, of course, I’m watching it and while I might be behind a bit and slow in the writing but recap/review is up for the first two episodes on The Geek Girl Project.  The reviews for 3-5 should be up sometime this week. I still love the show but, as much as I’d watch it forever, I think the actors are about done so I really hope they wrap it up in a more satisfying way than they did last time they did a special season.

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Filed under Health, Writing

January Wrap Up

This month has been a pretty busy, pretty decent month!

On the writing front, it’s been the best month I’ve had in a very very long time. I didn’t start counting my words until half-way through the month so it isn’t exactly complete and I didn’t write every day but I only missed three days in the last half of the month and that’s damned good. I wrote 12,585 words in the second half of January and I’m really pleased with that. I also finished the zero draft of Hunter’s Hell which I started in November so, I might be behind there but the bones of this book are solid and awesome. I submitted Purgatory’s Queen (sci-fi/thriller) and Demonborn (dark fantasy) so fingers crossed all over the place there. I also put in some words on the Gods of the Fallen first draft. I’ll be working both HH and GOTF first drafts for the next month or two. I’ll be very happy if HH is done mid-March.

On the health front: I’ve come a long way in the last six months but I’m not all the way there yet. I can do laundry all by myself now and stand up long enough to do dishes without using the tall stool to perch on. I can type at 3/4 speed for half an hour at a stretch. I’m not back to normal but I’m so damned happy to be where I’m at! I’m even exercising again. Slowly, gently, but exercising. I turned on my calorie counting app and hooked up the Wii Fit board. I’m only down about a pound but at least I’m back to going the right direction. Being off the prednisone is great but I think we’re probably not finished adjusting the methotrexate just yet.

The kids are doing well in school. Husband is the awesome. Husband’s family pulled through their recent health stuff, even if it didn’t exactly go as planned. This might be the closest month I’ve had to normal since my Dad died. ❤  Hopefully this month is even better!

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Filed under Books, Interesting, Life, Rheumatoid Arthritis, WIP, Writing

Can’t Turn Back Now

Sometimes my self-doubt is crippling but not today. Today I did it anyway. Today, the two books I’ve been sitting on for a while have been submitted. I have never met a writer yet who doesn’t have the same sort of self-doubt, at least sometimes. The key is really and truly just doing it anyway. There are a lot of really great writers and storytellers who the world will never know because they never do get past that self-doubt. Though there are some not so great writers who’ve never had a moment of doubt in their amazingness and  I really do envy that a bit. And now I’ve got to try very hard not to obsess over those stories or overthink the process or let that doubt-voice get any bigger than it already is. And really, the worst that can happen is that someone says no – I’m used to that by now.

I didn’t get words today but I did exercise and I did do submission prep and it’s Wednesday. Wednesdays are my med days and that makes me very sleepy. I also finished that last two episodes of Stranger Things, Season Two and I think I can safely say that that show is one of my favorite things to have ever been on any tv service ever. My oldest kid was watching it with me but our schedule got messed up and he went ahead without me so I’ve had to catch up. Season Three can’t get here soon enough.

Tomorrow it’s back to writing new words and not just formatting, proofreading, and double checking finished words. I’m determined to get Hunter’s Hell finished. I may even bump my total goal to 1500 before I’m allowed to work on one of the other books I’ve got going (and yes, there are too many of those). And I’ve got to get moving on my thoughts on the first half of this special limited season of the X-Files for The Geek Girl Project – that should post sometime after next week’s episode since there are only 10 episodes and tonight is #4.


Filed under Health, TV, Writing

A Week in a Day

I got more words yesterday than I did during all of last week. That’s not terrible. I didn’t get many words today but I did discover that weather shifts and running errands don’t really play well together. I did snag a pair of New Balance shoes on super clearance to wear inside the house to do my exercise because my good shoes are out of the house shoes and I need more arch support than socks can give me and I’ve got somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 pounds to lose so said exercise is important. I also found two additional eye shadow brushes on super clearance to add to my kit that I’m probably going to keep for sparkly, shiny stuff.  Hopefully, I’ll get a few more words in this evening during Flash because that show might still by my kid’s favorite but it’s gotten pretty irksome for me but Black Lightning comes on right afterward and I’m looking forward to that.

I got the Wii Fit board out, charged up, and working again (even if it is terribly mean to me) and I started up the MyFitnessPal app again. Counting calories is my best weapon, even if it means eating all the veggies so I don’t eat all of the gummy bears. Of course, not buying the gummy bears in the first place helps with that too but I really do love me some gummy bears. In any case, I’m trying.

I’ve given myself some rules on the writing front – if I want to work on the project that’s giving me twitchy fingers, I’ve got to put in no less than 1k on the projects that need to be done soon. It worked yesterday anyway and it’ll likely work tomorrow and, if I just keep going, I’ll get all the books done. Well, no, I know I’ll never actually get all the books in my head written – there are too many and I keep finding new ones. I just hope I can keep finding people who might want to actually read them!

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Filed under Health, Life, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Writing